What happened?

I can't write. I wish I can still write. I see myself finally situated into this vacuum of emptiness where no decent words can breathe. I have been preoccupied by a lot of worthless and crappy things when I should be doing the things that I love; the kind of habits wherein I get to come to terms with myself and nonetheless crucial to my inescapable journey.


However this post will turn out, I am very sorry for wasting your time reading it, I know I haven't been so kind to this blog. I almost got the courage to let this go, let every bit about my past sink into the vacuum of emptiness that I'm currently in. Probably everything that I'll write right now will either be seen as underplayed or exaggerated.


A lot of things boggle me recently: one, 'what happened?' two, 'really it happened?' three, 'what the hell did I do?'. These are the thoughts that I have gladly entertained for the sake of acceptance and evaluation of what happened to me this 2011. One thing you should know is that my life doesn't consist of only a relationship with a single homo. Apparently, if I had a red sign on top of my head it would scream NO OCCUPANCY for some close-minded people. Well, I don't blame anyone. I'm glad to have experienced these things at an early age. It's true what they say, relationships are messy. Messy does not even cut it.


Anywho, 2011 will pass me by like it never happened.I am very glad, with utter profanities, that 2011 will be the 4 numbers that I will always remember and will always be forgotten. Thank you, 2011, for the times you've taught me that I should be bigger than my emotions, bigger as in smarter, that sometimes I should not forget to think inside the box because there is always a danger that awaits outside of it.


I have gone too far, testing every bit of capacity that I have just to make the unworkable things work, and it didn't seem to delight me most of the time. This is me thinking negatively, I suppose. But of course there are remarkable discoveries that I have kept with me since finally I have done things that other people thought I couldn't, may it be for my betterment or not, mostly not.


There are so many stories that I could share if only I have the will or time to write them, sadly I don't. One, I'm not good at telling stories to random strangers, I have a very limited number of trust left that I can give to anyone worth it. For now, I don't think this blog, or you, is worth it. :)


Here's the thing. I will continue to tell stories that I suppose will serve you guys well. Something that will make your day, will make you say 'oh! yes, she has a point there' (emphasis on the Oh!). Yah, 'cause usually I see my words as pointless. I haven't read so much blogs lately that tell nice stories, I've seen personal tumblr accounts but only photographs reposted countless times. Uh, no offense there, 'cause I really adore those kind of things. I think it's the shortest way of expressing what one feels/thinks if he or she is too lazy to write 'em down. I don't even know why I can still type all of these down.


This year would probably be very different.


I know it. I just really know it...


Age of 21. The start of Womanhood?

No kidding?

Thesis. Graduation. Epic no-lovelife February-March. Job-hunting. (Jobless? Or finally an employee?)



So many grand occurrences that I can't wait to get to the point of working. Yes. I'm excited to work. But working without a decent vehicle to get to work is a different story. *sigh*


Can you imagine how far we've come, dear blog? It's been 5 years! Oh what a history.

Let's end the world right! Happy 2012!