Ecstasy.

I read once about a woman whose secret fantasy was to have an affair with an artist. she believed he would really see her. He would see every curve, every line, every indentation and love them because they were part of the beauty that made her unique.

That’s it. Almost everyone’s hating me for being such a trying f*cking hard emotional freak. *Evil laugh*

My friends were so used to having the jolly jade, the laughing like a fool jade, the everlasting corny jokes I spill and all sorts of foolishness that I embody whenever I’m out of the hell zone called school.

I don’t intend to make everyone look down on me whenever I feel so emotionally stressed, but I understand why if they would. La la la la, bla bla, kru kru kru.

I seriously dunno what to say, I still have a wee-bit hangover from what happened last night, I had so much fun with my girl best friends and I seriously thought that the “party people” I’ve seen last night were so having the night of their lives. Particularly the girl who’s never allowed to go out beyond 6pm, she truly felt every pour of alcohol through her veins, going through her heavy heart, flowing gracefully towards her derelict mind and making herself free from the bondage of her sick reality.

For just a phase, I have been so emotional, meeting head-on with every negative aspects of my life, all the bool sheets and craps that ruin my day, I wanted to utter the words a heavy heart does not normally say, and for after that phase, I can go on thinking freely because I have confronted the evil and made peace with angels once again.