Letters to Dad

 04.20.2022

Hi Dad,

I must admit, I'm still having a difficult time since you passed away. Even if I think I should be ok by now.

It's been 2 months, yet it just feels like yesterday, still.

I remember you every now and then and I'm not really sure why I want to write this, but I do. I want to be able to tell someone -- something -- all my thoughts about you. 

I know you're obsessed with technology, I remember secretly tinkering with your amazing PC when I was 13. I used to open your PC when you're at work because I didn't have my own computer.

But you did give me your old laptop. It was broken so I only get to use it when it's plugged and if it's not having any of its slow and bad days when it would just suddenly turn to its favorite blue screen.

I was amazed with your PC because it has everything -- fast processor with internet and with really cool speakers. Yes, blasting the volume of computer speakers used to be a big deal. I get to secretly log on to my Facebook account using your PC.. 

One night, and I'm not really sure how you found out, but you did find out that I was using your PC. In a split second, I felt a strong fist coming at me right in between my eyes. I was already wearing eyeglasses that time so.. I had to buy new ones. I remember just crying and getting mad at you. You did apologize.. after a day, I think. 

I only have limited memories of you because you were very distant.

You didn't even try.

And I know there's always that something that I have to figure out on my own someday. 

But, anyway. I remembered you today because Jollibee now has a robot server called Jollibots. Same as Dunkin'. I wonder if I will ever witness a future where every restaurant would have those things.

I'm sad you didn't get to see and experience these things now. I know you would've been so happy to see such technology.

I wish we had spent more time talking about computers.

I wish you had let me tinker with your computer more ;) perhaps I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing now.

Anyway. I hope you are having a good time wherever you are.

I hope they let you use their computers.