Forget about it.

If you're reading this. I just want you to know.. That I love you for what you want me to be. You want me to be successful in your own definition of successful. You want me to be someone more than I can be. You want me to be the best. You want me to be proud of me. And you did that. You really did. I'm so happy that for 20 years, I've always looked out for myself. Sadly, you don't see that. You don't believe in me. You think that being like you is the only way to be happy. You think that being "successful" in terms of richness in money is the only way to go. I get that. I want that, too. But I want my life back. :( I want myself back. I want to know what I want. :( Right now, it's getting so hard for me to decide what I want. You took that away from me ever since you dictated where I should be and where I should go. I may sound insanely emotional right now, but I'm really tired. :( I am really tired. Like 104% tired. But I kept doing what you want, you know? I kept trying even if I can only have myself to hold on to. To God? Yes, but, is this what He also wants for me? Sigh.. Stupid. If only I was born as smart as you. If only. If only I can. If only I have someone. Sadly, I only have myself.