For once, I'm just gonna live.

Everyday, we make new history, history will not always repeat itself, we can always make a new one each nanosecond of our life. My first semester as a second year student (supposed to be third year), has been another history. It didn’t quite hit me until all my classcards are in my hands. I observed each card, reminiscing on the memories I’ve had with that subject, and asked myself a million times how on earth did I attain such grade. I’m very happy for what my professors gave me; although I don’t want to thank one of them who gave me a 2.75 which completely devastate my God forsaken wish to be one of the college scholars. It has been two semesters, two semesters that “I am almost there”. Anyway, it would never be about being part of the list, I am just glad that I didn’t fail any of my subjects.

The first three days of second semester turned out somewhat O.K. most of the professors weren’t able to attend their class due to whatever reasons they may have.

I learned how to play “pusoy dos” and other card games yesterday, yaaay! Because of STS class which is supposed to be 1 to 4 pm, but the professor never came. So we played cards na lang. but before that, para kaming ewan ng friends ko, picture picture kung saan saan, pati sa CR hindi nagpaawat.

It is also different now that I am not a stone’s throw away from school. In fact I have to take a bus everyday just to get to UPM. I decided not to stay “there” anymore, even though I already miss waking up just an hour before class, now I have to wake up two hours, because the trip can take an hour due to bad traffic. I mean, my family is here, and everything I need is in here, no mess, no allergies, and no duties of being a housekeeper.

Just yesterday, I realized that the issue between my parents had already reached the limit of my understanding. Why do two people force themselves to stay in a relationship even if it kills them both just knowing they cannot ever understand each other? And most essentially, why do they have to make it hard for the both of them, if they are not happy anymore? I know some will say, that love is not always about being happy, that love is not always about the good times, but what if it supposedly have to be equal but turns out the bad times have occupied most of the time the two people were together?

I am not a pessimist when it comes to the power of love, but how can one say that “love” is still the reason, if it cannot heal a broken relationship? Somehow, in some stupid ways, people are just creating their own foolish thoughts about love, bakit mo sinasabing mahal mo ‘yung tao kung puro ka reklamo as in reklamo na lang wala ng nakakatuwang kwento, kung puro katangahan ‘yung iniisip mo? Wala lang… hindi naman kailangan magbulag-bulagan para sabihin mong nagmamahal ka lang e, kailangan mulat ang dalawang mata mo pag magmamahal ka, kung sa palagay mo hindi na tama ‘yung nangyayari, ituwid mo na yung mali, kung maaari kayong dalawa ang gagawa ng paraan, hindi isang tao lang. kayong dalawa mismo ang tutuklas ng solusyon.

Ay hwe? Ano nanaman ‘to Jade?

Now I understand why some teenagers couldn’t take the situation of their parents.

Okay fine, ibang kwento naman, kahapon nakipagaway ako sa mga tricycle draybers. Basta nakakainis, sisingilin ka ng 50php, e napakalapit lang naman ng bahay nyo. Kala mo naman aircon ‘yung tricycle nya.

Haaaaay. Ang hirap pala talaga kapag malayo ang bahay mula paaralan. Parang high school lang ‘to e. Hayun. Syempre wala na ‘kong masabi…

I watched Jennifer’s Body last week,, the soundtrack was great! Although the movie was not that good, quite disappointing, pero OK pa din. Haha.

One of the songs was Hayley William’s “Teenagers”—

“So don't ask me where I'll go ‘cause frankly I don't know and I don't give a shit. Why must we all make sense? And I just won't make sense. For once I'm just gonna live, I'm just gonna live.

Teenagers, we don't know anything. Teenagers, we don't know anything.”



NOTE: "NEW HISTORY" term I got from the latest episode of Grey's Anatomy s6.