Float higher.

Yes. I've been temporarily nonexistent for almost a month now. Sometimes I forget that I own a blog, a world of my own, where I can still pour down my thoughts figuratively down the drain. But for a while that I've been away and focused on reality, there are things that I finally come to terms with.

The past semester, 4th year 1st sem (which ended only a few weeks ago), seemed to have rather forced upon my throat some assertive notions of maturity due to recurring difficulties and incalculable amount of stress that suitably enabled my mind to think differently about life.

Yes, I know. Another clicheic, stupid and shallow sentiments on how I was able to realize that I'm actually growing up and that I am no longer a self-proclaimed disciplined child. Because yes, I can be very childlike most of the time but I beg to differ being childish because there is too much to that word that I don't ever want to remember.

I like how the past five months almost literally killed me. Yes, literally. Because of some unexpected tragedies that I have wisely put up on my own, sarcastically speaking.

It's so hard for me to tell the whole story anymore. Not that I think you're that interested. But the thought of spilling it all again would mean I have to retell series of unfortunate events that I really don't want to remember anymore. I've moved on. I've moved on from the wrong decisions of chasing after a guy that clearly doesn't deserve it but still did, I've moved on from the unacceptable wrongdoings that he did and I've moved on from the idea that a guy will do anything if he does not want to lose you. Because sometimes a person wont do anything just because he or she is busy. A person wont react to anything just because he or she is busy. Believe me, it's possible. Or maybe those are just excuses, I'll never know.

It's the first time that I've visited my grandparents' grave last November 1. We went all the way to Iriga, Camarines Sur just to spend the day on commemorating their passing. The cemetery was of course jam-packed, but there's something about the environment that completely drawn me into it. I don't know how or why but I loved the strange feeling I got while I was there with my family and relatives who are, unfortunately, experiencing a discord that I don't want to meddle with so I refuse to talk about it. It was a realization that the cemetery is our last, final, assuring destination. No one can escape the grave, unless you're a vampire or something. Not disregarding also the notion of heaven and hell, but the fact that our physical self will eventually turn to ashes still scare me sometimes. But there is, however, peace. Peace and calmness that overwhelmed me while I was there.

For days that I have spent with my family and relatives, I found out that I have so much blessings to be grateful for and so much life lessons to take in.

They say money is the root of the evilest ways. Yes, dear. It is. But it can also be a root for the kindest ways only if it is not taken for granted much like the others.

One thing I've learned from my trip to Bicol is that money and blood don't go well together. Yes, helping one another is kind and generous, but you see, not everyone knows what gratitude is for and now that I know about that, I thought that being wealthy in terms of financial capability has its downside that can totally wreck a relationship or even a life. Sometimes I wish time can replace money, like you know, the film 'In Time', I have yet to watch that. :)

Bye for now.

XOXO :))