J.

There was a time when I used to believe in Santa Claus. Just like any ordinary kid or any believer, I used to hang my pair of pink and purple colored socks in the Christmas tree and sometimes, I even leave cookies and milk for him, (but it always ended up in my mouth anyway). I can only remember that I was about 9 years old when I last did this fantasy, and it saddens me that not a single candy was found on my socks and the cookies and milk haven't been touched. Some parents are good at giving kids the thought that fantasies exist in real life. Mine weren't. Maybe it was a good thing that my parents didn't let me get used to the idea that such fairy tale exists. Although they did it to my brothers, leaving gifts under the Christmas tree, making them believe that it was from Santa. Deprived of fantasy, I think I have that innate capability to create my own castle in the air. I remember writing my wish and message on a balloon, 'cause my friend told me that it'll be read by Jesus and He shall grant it, so I did. I can hardly remember what I wrote, thus I don't know whether it came true or not, since I couldn't remember, maybe it didn't. I feel good whenever I send message to Jesus and tell it to him in all sorts of possibilities. I even burned a letter for Him, thinking that it will be sent up to the Heavens. Sometimes I wonder if He has gotten to read any of my messages. Now, it makes me wonder how else I could make Jesus know what I want to say to Him. What else can be done besides prayers? I know for certain that Prayer is the most powerful tool for communicating with Christ. It just makes me wonder why I even bothered burning a letter or writing on a balloon. Maybe I wasn't really sure if He's listening. It's been a long time since I went to the Church. And it's disappointing. So now, I'm writing a blog. He'll never read it. He might not even have a computer in Heaven. But I know and I believe that He's reading with me.